Monday, January 10, 2011

What happens when commoners visit ub city

Vitthal mallya road ..10th of jan 2011 A rather untra thing happened at ub city , bangalore. A man,who had no business being there,was there...(waiting for a gentleman who happened to be his brother) before you ask, let me tel you why this was a strange occurrence.......

 A few people stared at our friend..others ignored him...out of the ones who stared, some shared in disbelief,some with pity , some with appreciation......appreciation , because he had the audacity of turning up looking like how he was looking at ''the u b city ! ''. . . dull , tired, sweating , wearing loose ill fitting clothes...no sun glasses stuck on his face, no plastic smile stuck on his lips either.....


 Now lets let our man do the talking himself...before you close this window... So here's the account of a 'commoner' visiting ub city. . . For the first time...




 Okay, so i 'd been to u b city, and i know i 'm making it look like i'd been to the moon....shows how jobless and idle my mind really is.....but anyways......here're the thoughts that crossed my brain...(yes, i'm convinced i do have a brain, ppl who kno me are not ) i'd strongly recommend you to discontinue reading lest you get terribly bored...but you already have stopped reading anyways , so let me continue... .


 My mind....

'woww, this place is beautiful.....i have lost weight, this pant used to fit me well previously.....nice little fountain here.....my bag..is al gone,need to get a new one.....my hair look awful and i look like i'm sorry abt being here....in the middle of all these important looking people.....i need to try and look important too...........they're al smiling , some giggling ,laughing....why're al those girls laughin so hard?are they looking at me?no that cant be possible, why're they waving their icecreams at me??............do they know i'm nursing a semi ??.....i should stop looking at their butts......this carpet is beautiful,and so soft.....the mirrors here aren't amazing....my reflection looks....dam am i walking with a visible hump???i need to use fewer pillows to sleep......wait, you dont think i 'm obsessed with myself do you ??i'm not an egotist....i'm not a narcissist . . . .i'm just a little vain .


 But why are al these people looking at me??i know i look funny. . . . But. . . Now even more people're looking . . . ..wat's wrong ?? . . . . . .maybe because i'm the only guy using this mirror here. . . . . . . .oh fuck. . . .its one of those glasses with a mirror on one side and bunch of laughing people on the other . . .a restaurant on the other side in this place..... . . .that explains why those girls with ice creams were giggling looking at me. . . . . . . .damn . . . .i need to get out of this place.... .before i create yet another embarrassing moment for my self. . . Which i 'm so fond of creating . . . . . . .i walked into some restaurant . . . . . Walked out a little faster then i walked in. ,a coffee costs a fortune there. I looked at my cel phone hoping my brother 'd call me up to end my misery,but that wasn't to be. . . . . . . . ..I walked into a louis vuitton showroom. . . .i saw this ladies handbag ,so red and shining ,you'd think its a human and thug repellent. it could make bag snatchers contemplate changing their field of work. . .it was so small you couldn't keep your cell phone into it without a fifteen minute foreplay..and then i saw its price. . . . . . . And then i saw the bag again. . . . . . With more respect this time. . . .appreciating its compactness. . . .its bold and loud color . . . Its splendid shine . . . . Elegant zippers . . . , and its price. . . . Rupees 77900 . . . Only. . . . The 'only' part almost looked sarcastic . . . . . . . . . . . . I suddenly realised wat this bag was all about???it was abt being louis vuitton . . . . . .i realised what louis vuitton was all about . . . . It was about outrageous prices . . . . I realised what ub city was all about . . . . .brands like louis vuitton . . . . And the people around me were people who could afford louis vuitton . . . . .who didn't need a loan to buy a hyundai i20. . . . Or innova . . . .. . . People who talked in hushed tones . . . People with fake smiles , the people here, looked like people you see in huge billboards and electronic boards . . . , rich . . . Happy . . . And smiling . . . . , well , i 'm not rich . . . And i wasn't smiling . . . And i cant afford louis vuitton . . . And i dont need bags worth a fortune. . . . And i dont need to own good brands to convince me i 'm living the good life. . . . . . So i thought 'what the hell am i doing here??',that is when a phone call from my brother reminded me i was at the right place and that i'd come here without the intention of coming here

that was it... i headed back.. making a mental note of reviving my dying blog and writing down the funny (read dark, disgraceful, and stupid) thoughts that i cam across while at UB city......


i walked out.... into a familiar world.. with dust, traffic, traffic ignals and traffic jams.. a world with friends.. arguments and pedestrian crossings


what happened while i was crossing the road is for another day to write about... ( and it is with pain that i tell you that yes.. i'll be back... with more stupidity and more pathetic writing)

thanks for reading through ... please feel free to express how much you want me to stop writing this very minute... thank you.. good bye and GOD bless